On Disagreements, Compliments, and Complements

Judith Beheading Holofernes by Artemisia Gentileschi. Not the recommended course of action for peaceful disagreements.

Disagreements: Agree to disagree. It’s a good principal to live by, especially when interacting with other humans. I had an experience of agreeing to disagree with someone on a rather trivial topic. Or at least a topic that wouldn’t make me shun the company of this person. Clearly, they disagree as they have not spoken to me since then. I find it a bit odd. This person claims to enjoy and prefer being around intelligent people but does not seem to realize that invariably a disagreement will arise. Intelligent people don’t walk in lock-step with others. Agreement, yes, but always complex, never simple. Which leads me to…

Agreements: Finding someone you agree with is like finding a random $100 bill in your sock drawer. It’s always nice not having to walk on eggshells on a constant basis. That is tiring and can certainly foster feelings of contempt and disaccord. But be wary: there is a difference between agreement and witless consensus. The latter often leads to a sort of superficiality that may be flattering to the ego at first but ultimately unsatisfying. This is where compliments come into play.

Compliments: Who doesn’t love them? I certainly do! I like being compliments on my assets, whether they are based on my natural self (intellect, beauty, nurturing nature) or my cultivated self (cultural interests, knowledge, education, etc). Compliments can be a great way to cheer someone up if they’re feeling down, to give them a boost to accomplish a difficult goal, or a charming way to show how much you have noticed another. But, just as with agreements, compliments can also become simpering, smarmy, or even sinister, depending on the motivation. There are people who cannot stand or do not trust anyone complimenting them due to far too many run-ins with ne’er-do-wells who smarm their way into someone’s trust, complimenting and then criticizing the same traits depending on how they want to make the person feel. Or perhaps a brown-noser or social climber who only likes as far as it will get them. The best compliments come from your complement.

Athena and Nike. Receiving Nike’s blessing was the original Nike sponsorship.

Complements: This word is so often confused with compliment. Finding a complement is similar to finding a soulmate. When you complement another, there is a symbiosis. You are not merely opposites or mirrors of each other or support to their leadership. Working in concert, there is a fluidity of roles yet an understanding and respect for how the other fits into your life. Even if you disagree or agree, the nuances of said disagreements or agreements is what makes the relationship work. Complimenting your complement is always sincere.

This is what I offer as a professional gentleman’s Companion: being your witty, pretty, sexy complement.

About Claudia Christophe

Professional, sensual companion for discerning gentlemen.
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