For some of us, being a Companion comes naturally. Maybe it is in the genes or just a natural empathy for your fellow human being. This is not a better than/lesser than declaration. However, we all have a niche and the key to being comfortable and successful in the demimonde is finding that niche and those who will appreciate it. Working outside of your comfort zone is the fastest way to burn out.
I have one of those faces that seem to say to complete strangers, “Tell me all your problems”; it also seems to say, “Hi, I’m your personal Chicago tour guide! I know where the Sears Tower is!” Believe me, I used to hate this, especially when I was a teenager and in my early twenties. But I’ve always been a confidant and confessor for family, friends, and classmates. I listen, give advice based on what I’m told, and unless direct harm would result, kept quiet about anything someone confided in me.
Even though I have felt comfortable in that role, it can be tiresome. Learning how to say, “No, I can’t right now” without feeling guilty or interjecting, “sorry” is difficult for those of us for whom giving of ourselves comes naturally. Not that these people are intentionally selfish and uncaring, rarely is that consideration for spleen venting extended by them to us. We have to learn how to give ourselves time and space for our own frustrations and hopefully have at least one person who will be as much a companion to us as we are to them. Learning how to say “no” with ease means that we say “yes” with equal ease and enthusiasm, which benefits everyone involved. Boundaries and learning who to share yourself with are necessary.
Since I hit my mid-twenties and had to help care for two aging parents, I have had plenty opportunity to appreciate those random strangers unloading their burdens in casual conversation. This happens a lot at doctor’s offices. As a tutor for university and post-graduate students, many of my sessions turn into general discussion about various irritants in their lives. With a couple students, I would say our appointments are 10% actual tutoring and 90% life coaching. I don’t mind. They feel better afterwards and that positive energy infuses me as well.
So it is no wonder that I am a Companion. You can come to me for intimate relaxation, obviously far beyond anything I offer to tutors or random people merely needing a receptive ear. Our little world is one of pleasure and relief, however we decide to define it.