Nothing gets my hackles raised more than liars, thieves, and those who give them cover and succor. Even in, no, especially in the demimonde. Are we professionals or not? If we want our industry to be respected and if we want to be a self-regulating industry in a decriminalized atmosphere, then we need to actually act as though we can self-regulate. Otherwise, my pretties, the authorities will not hesitate to regulate for us and you don’t want that. You think it’s bad now? Just wait until petty bureaucracy solidifies the whorearchy.
Many of us who are politically active talk about how the illegality of most forms of sex work attract a criminal element, and usually we’re not referring to our own ‘colleagues’. But what some people are loathe to admit is that the criminal element is found there too. Outing and stalking are criminal acts, regardless of the occupation of the people involved. Would we be okay with these behaviors if clients or third-parties acted the same way towards us? Absolutely not! So why the general apathy or even outright denial when one of our own makes a habit of doing this to other providers? To put it bluntly, there are bad laws AND bad whores and whatever is passing as the sex worker “community” needs to be rid of both.
If standing up against theft and stalking is a turn-off to clients then perhaps they weren’t worth having as clients. And those clients shouldn’t complain when they come across a provider whose idea of professional ethics have more stretch than an old pair of yoga pants. It’s amusing how many love comparing themselves to the courtesans of old, especially legends like Veronica Franco, Ninon de L’Enclos, Nell Gwynn, etc., and not one of those women held their tongues when their contemporaries* showed their asses in a public forum. Yes, they did so with tact and, in Nell’s case, razor-sharp wit, but they didn’t mince words nor did they shrug shoulders and say, “Ah well, nothing to do with me!” But I guess I’ve read different writings on and by those women.
Speaking of legacies, that is the main reason I am so infuriated with these situations. I want to leave this industry in better shape than when I entered it. I do my best to work in a professional way that will have a positive effect even generations after I am or any of us are gone. While I understand that everyone doesn’t think this way, I can’t understand the, “fuck you, Imma get mine, then fuck you again” attitude that doesn’t give a damn about how their behavior effects their colleagues now and what the lasting impression will be both inside and outside our demimonde.
To end this post, a quick note: talking about these issues is not drama. DRAMA is when providers are arguing about who did or didn’t tag them on Follow Friday. Are we clear on that? Great.
*And by contemporaries I mean anyone in their social & professional circles, be they fellow courtesans & courtiers, male, female, nobles or royalty.